This Little Piggy

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This Little Piggy

What are the “Terrible Twos”? Why am I asking a question online that’s not in a Google search? What’s going to replace my child’s obsession with Baby Shark? 

Who knows?

I’ve been told the terrible twos happen when your kid turns two and all hell breaks loose. Like someone flips a switch and your kid goes on a year long rampage to destroy everything in your life, rip apart your sanity, and ultimately break you like Ivan Drago going up against Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV. 

I’ve also been told that this is wrong.

The terrible twos, according to some, is a two year period between the ages of 1 to 3 where your toddler starts to behave like someone flipped a switch and now they’re on a rampage to destroy everything in your life, rip apart your sanity, and ultimately break you like Ivan Drago going up against Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV. 

I’ll Google it once I’m done writing this. You should, too, because this isn’t an informative post. It’s a post about nothing… like Seinfeld. Seinfeld did well. Maybe this blog will do well. Meh.

Anywho, not much changes on a weekly basis with my kid. I mean she comes home dirty from day care each day and we clean her. Then she goes back to school… rinse and repeat. That’s as much change as we’ve had since last week. 

When I started writing about my experiences as a parent nobody told me that the exponential growth your child undergoes in their first year of life starts to slow and creep along like old people driving to the Corner Bakery on a Sunday morning for their overpriced scramby eggs and bacon. It leaves me here twiddling my thumbs, vis-à-vis my blog post.

But, as an illustrator and an aspiring word smythe I am not without a back up plan. I wrote a quick little modern adaptation of “This Little Piggy” for Emma depicting some of today’s most popular trends. I hope you enjoy it and as always, Happy Parenting.

…also, I realized that when I started this blog I was reaching out to other parents, specifically other stay-at-home dads in search of some way to meet people. Well, that didn’t really pan out. A) Don’t try to meet strangers on the internet. That’s just never safe. B) I’m already spilling my life to everyone in these posts. Do they really need to reach out and insert themselves into some dude’s life while he’s trying to raise a baby? C) I’m pretty sure only my wife and our parents read this… and my wife only proof reads this so my typos and poor grammar don’t go out into the world and embarrass her. That being said, if you’re reading this and you’re not my or my wife’s parents then “Happy Parenting” might not apply to you. 

I’m not going to stop writing it, though. It’s my “Stay Classy San Diego” and a sort of mantra at this point. Whenever Emma starts to behave like someone flipped a switch and she’s on a rampage to destroy everything in my life, rip apart my sanity, and ultimately break me like Ivan Drago going up against Rocky Balboa in Rocky IV, I just whisper to myself… “Happy Parenting.”

Now enjoy “This Little Piggy” 🙂


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